The Just Us League
by Just An Inkling
Summary: Our boys are a special kind of stupid, but at least they get the job done. Most of the time, anyway. /Appreciation fic for Becky Blue Eyes.


**I gave Becky Blue Eyes her choice of prompt as a thank you for prompting me into writing Save You-it gave me an opportunity to deal with some things I hadn't dealt with very well, and having someone to keep me from chickening out as I dealt with that was very helpful.**

**So, she requested the boys being, well, themselves, preferably pre-Invasion. Lots of shenanigans that the mentors with eventually have to do something about. (If the four of them don't regret introducing their proteges yet, they haven't been paying attention.) This is about...I wanna say just less than a year before the start of season 1. Back when they were innocent and a special kind of stupid.**

**This really ended up being more stupid than anything, and it's late as hell, but it's something, right?**

**Right? Guys?**

* * *

_The Just Us League_

"I'm telling you, one of these days, I'm going to break into the Hall," Roy grumbled around his bendy straw, arms braced at firm right angles in front of his milkshake. "They can't keep us out forever."

"You've been saying that for years, Roy," Dick chuckled. He stole a french fry from Kaldur's plate and grinned at the long-suffering head shake that he got in response. "But if you ever decide to grow some balls and actually do it, lemme know, I'll tag along. I'll get us in, and you can keep Batman from killing me afterward."

"I want no part of this," Kaldur said, sliding his plate away from Dick's pilfering reach. "If the two of you wish to take on the League on your own, as untrained as you are, be my guest."

"Hey, three of us," Dick said indignantly. "Wally's totally in."

"Is he?"

"He will be. We're united against the forces of parenthood, he's obligated to come."

"We'd include you, Kal," Roy explained, "but you and Aquaman have a... Well, it's a different relationship."

Dick nodded solemnly. "We might get grounded for this, but we don't want to drag you into high treason or anything. Although if he ever does exile you, there is totally room in the Batcave. I could probably even talk Batman into adding a swimming pool, if you wanted."

The doors flew open behind them, and Wally jogged in, making a show of breathing heavily. "Sorry I'm late," he panted. Roy slid over in the booth to give Wally a seat. "Cat stuck in a tree."

Roy blinked at him. "Okay, I have heard every euphemism for drug use in the book-"

"No. Seriously," Wally said, unzipping his hoodie. "My neighbor's idiot of a feline got stuck in the tree outside my window." He slid his arms out of the sleeves and held out his scratched forearms for general inspection. "I spent_ two hours_trying to coax the stupid thing down."

Dick snickered. "Is this the neighbor who-"

"Shush," Wally interrupted, reaching across the table to clap a hand over the 13 year old's mouth. "Stop talking, not another word out of you."

"Wait, no," Roy laughed, pulling Wally back across the table. "Is this the neighbor who what?"

"I think we might cause him permanent injury if we keep speaking of this," Kaldur said, his lips kicking up at the corners. "His face is nearly the same shade as his hair."

"Ooh, hey, yeah. Look at that," Roy said. "Right up to his _ears_, wow. That is impressive. I didn't know skin could actually assume that color."

"Maybe he actually has some kind of shape-shifting abilities and he's just been holding out on us all this time," Dick said, snapping a picture with a cell phone produced from ostensibly nowhere. "Which, in case you were wondering, would make you an asshole, dude."

"Shut up," Wally whined, laying his head down on the table and folding his arms over his hair. "You all are douchebags, I don't know why I hang out with any of you."

"Because you're just as bad if not worse," Dick said, kicking at Wally's ankle under the table. "Face it, you deserve us." He waved to the waitress and pointed at Wally. "Excuse me, can I get a triple cheeseburger and a side of waffles for my pathetic friend here?"

"And a chocolate cherry milkshake," Roy added.

She grinned and scribbled the order down. "Can I get your pathetic friend anything else?"

"An order of chili cheese fries," Wally said, lifting his head up off the table. "And maybe some dignity, if you've got any in the back."

"How about a slice of raspberry rhubarb pie instead," she asked, propping her fist on her hip. "Just as good, and none of the maintenance that comes with self-respect."

Wally rolled his eyes. "With friends like these, I'll_ need_it."

She laughed and sauntered off, the skirt of her mint green shirt dress swaying around her knees. Wally dug in his front pockets, and then reached for his back pockets, frowning at the table top. "Aw, man," he groaned, and let his head fall forward onto the table again.

"What?"

"I was in such a rush getting out of the house, I left my wallet."

Dick grinned, and produced a matte black charge card with the card numbers outlined in silver. "Gotcha covered."

"I'll pay you back," Wally promised, raising his head off the table.

"Nah, no need. I have a special account just for speedster eating emergencies."

"Very funny," Wally grumbled.

Roy snickered. "It actually is."

Dick watched Wally and Roy devolve into a remarkably contained shoving match across the table before angling himself toward Kaldur. "I heard Aquaman talking about getting you set up on the surface full-time," he said, lowering his volume to just below the redheads' rough-housing. "Any truth to that?"

Kaldur's lips twisted into something part smile, part grimace, and he offered a carefully noncommittal shrug. "There has been...talk of it," he said at last, not quite meeting Dick's eyes. "He says it will be good for me, as a protector of the surface world, to be...familiar, with the customs and natures of those who I am to serve. And I do not disagree," he added hurriedly, lest his reluctant words be taken as an insult. "No, I think the idea has merit."

Dick raised his eyebrows. "But?"

"But...it seems, the older I become, the farther I am pushed away from my home, regardless of how much I would like to stay or go back. Soon...I may be so far removed I can never return."

To Kaldur's surprise, Dick only nodded sympathetically. "Up here, we have a really cheesy saying, 'home is where the heart is.' And I guess what that means is...home can be anywhere in the world, as long as you've got people who love you enough to make it_ feel_like home. And, if Aquaman does decide to move you up here full time, the three of us are always around if you need us."

Kaldur smiled thinly. "Sometimes it is easy to forget that you are so young."

Dick grinned, bright and sharp, and darted around Kaldur to snag another french fry off his plate. "Years of crime fighting, my friend. It ages the soul."

"At least in Gotham, anyway," Wally said. "My soul is exactly the age it should be, because Central isn't a bottomless _pit_."

"Because you_ started_with the maturity level of an eight year old," Dick corrected. "Oh, hey, look. Food."

Wally twisted around and leaned out of the booth, a vague whimpering noise escaping him as he watched the waitress come closer with his food. "Oh, marry me," he begged as she set his waffles and his chili cheese fries down in front of him. "We'll own a vinyard and have beautiful children together."

She laughed and waved her left hand in front of him, showing off a modest diamond ring. "Curb your enthusiasm, Romeo," she said, pulling a straw out of her apron pocket. "My fiance might have a problem with me running away with a minor."

Roy slung an arm around Wally's neck. "And besides, she's_ waaaay_too much of a looker for your ugly ass."

"I appreciate the backwards compliment," she said, grinning at him over Wally's head. "You boys want me to split the check?"

"Nah, I got it," Dick said, handing her his card. "Just this once, I will not have you taking advantage of my high spending limit."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Roy said, his arm still locked around Wally's neck.

"Absolutely not," Wally agreed, his voice only a touch strangled.

The waitress laughed and left for the register. Dick leaned back and glanced out the window, only to sit back up again. "Guys?"

"What?" Roy followed his gaze to the Diamond Exchange down the block, where police cars were amassing out front. The distinctive pop of machine gunfire echoed down the street. "Oh. Well crap."

"Should you get that," Wally asked, extracting himself from Roy's grip and biting off nearly half of his cheeseburger.

"Yeah, probably," Roy said blankly, not moving at all. He leaned closer to the window and squinted at the assembly of squad cars. "Oh, yeah, that's Precinct 250. They're... Well, Ollie and I call them the Reject Pile. With good reason." He grimaced. "I'll be right back."

"What? Hey, no!"

"You are _so_not leaving us behind."

Kaldur chuckled wordlessly and stood, slinging his water-bearers camouflaged as a backpack onto his shoulders. Roy made a show of sighing impatiently and smirked at them all. "You three are a pain in the ass," he said affectionately, before leaning over the counter. "Can you hold our table, please? We'll be right back."

"Sure thing," the waitress said, winking at them before going back to the register. "I'll leave your card on the table."

"You're a queen among women," Dick called as they left the diner. "I hope your fiance knows he's a lucky man!"

"Oh, he does!"

Roy ducked into the alley and tugged his pullover off over his head, stuffing it into a slot in the top of a nondescript metal box bolted to the wall behind a dumpster. He entered a code into a keypad on the side and the door swung open, revealing his bow and quiver and a spare uniform.

When he turned back around, the other three were in full costume, waiting not so patiently for him to lead the way. "Come _on_, princess," Dick teased, poking him in the side with the end of a Birdarang. "Or do you have to do your makeup, too?"

"I'm sorry, I could leave you here," Roy said blithely. "My town, my rules, you know."

"He'll be good," Wally said, slapping a hand over Dick's mouth and baring his teeth in a hopeful smile. "Seriously, he'll be good. You won't even know we're here."

"Until I save his sorry ass," Dick muttered. Roy laughed.

"C'mon, dorks, if I let anyone die today, Ollie'll ground me until I'm as crusty as he is."

* * *

**Yeah, um. So that's a thing. Happy belated winter-holiday-of-choice, and happy New Years! **


End file.
